IF RESTAURANTS OPERATED LIKE MICROSOFT


Patron:  Waiter! 
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem? 
Patron: There's a fly in my soup! 
Waiter: Try again.  Maybe the fly isn't really there.
Patron: No, it's still there. 
Waiter: Then it must be the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead. 
Patron:
Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there. 
Waiter:
This is starting to sound like an incompatibility issue.  What kind of bowl are you using? 
Patron: A SOUP bowl! The same one YOU served me! 
Waiter: Hmmm, that's usually the problem. Maybe it's a configuration issue: How was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup? 
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup? 
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: At this point, my best advice is for you to upgrade to the latest Soup of the Day.
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day? 
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour. 
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now? 
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato. 
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late. 
Waiter: (Leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.) 
Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check. 
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter:
Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet. 
Patron:
Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything. 
Waiter: Enjoy! (Leaves.) 
Patron:
Waiter! There's another fly in my soup! 
Waiter:
That sir, is not a fly, it is a protein feature. We have included this enhancement free with your soup upgrade. 
Patron:
This is completely UNACCEPTABLE!!!
Waiter: Well, according to the license agreement printed on the back of your latest napkin, we are not liable for your disliking our product features. I believe we can close this ticket now. (Removes old check and leaves a new one.) 
Patron: (Reads the check:) 
Soup of the Day $   1.50
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day $   2.50
Access to support 
$ 25.00 X 3 INCIDENTS
$ 75.00
Subtotal $ 79.00
Sales Tax
$   5.53
Mandatory Gratuity. (25%) $ 19.70
TOTAL $ 104.23

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