The government has defined a lower-cost alternative for computer platform conversions that also addresses the Y2K issue.  The strategy for this new policy is to remove all computers from government desks by December, 1999.  Everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch. There are many sound reasons for doing this:
 

No Y2K problems
No technical glitches keeping work from being done
No more wasted time reading and writing email

Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I set the background and foreground?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I save my Etch-a-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it.